Where do we go from here?

I know things have a way of working out for the best. I know that one door has to close before another opens but it’s scary looking at 40 (soon) and starting over without a clue where I’m going. Since I had my daughter at the age of 19, I was so driven to make a better life for the two us I never really thought about what that life was going to be. Teaching seemed to be a good field. I knew that the benefits would be good and all of that time off was wonderful but almost immediately I knew I had made a mistake. Teaching wasn’t what I was meant to do but I had a child to raise and since the schedule worked for us and I loved being with the students I stayed for far too long. Being with the kids was great. Every day they made me laugh. Like the little girl who came to school with her jeans on completely backwards (wish I could do that) and the boy who called out “thanks beautiful” as I handed him a paper or the student that had an accident in his pants then proceeded to bring them across the classroom (dripping all the way) to my table and tried to hand them to me causing a splat of u know what to fall onto my sandal. These moments made my ten years bearable. Kids I love but everything else I don’t. I had made two very close friends who helped (okay did most of my work for me) and made it bearable. Then we got a new principal. He decided to switch me to a different grade level just cause he could. This left me with no reason to stay. I’m grateful he switched me now cause it pushed me to make a move even though excitement and fear cause me to wonder. “Where do we go from here now that all of the children have grown up? And how do we spend our time knowin’ nobody gives us a damn?? I don’t wanna live here no more, I don’t wanna stay. Ain’t gonna spend the rest of my life fading away”. Games People Play-Eric Wolfson/ Alan Parsons

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About amysmidlifemess

Trying to think of something funny or deep to describe myself. I got nothing.. My nest is now empty leaving lots of stones unturned. I'm searching, I'm seeking. I'm sad and I'm weeping.
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