Divorce could of helped

So you may or may not have picked up on the fact that Dad wasn’t always the best father but is anyone perfect anyway? Well he was probably an even worse husband. I can’t tell you how many times he would meet a woman, pack up his crap and drive off into the sunset (on his scooter of course). The first time this happened, I think I was probably 4 or so because I remember him kissing me goodbye and I think he even gave me a bracelet. He would move out for a while then decide to come back. Maybe he came back because the woman noticed his ineptness and sent him on his way. Each time my mother would just let him come back home. I recall one time he promised that we would start going to church every Sunday. We never made it to church as a family once. One of the women became friends with my mother and would hang around our house. Can you imagine how confusing that was?There were times we would overhear my father on the phone complaining about his “fat wife and rotten kids” to these women. You know the old “woe is me” story. Not to mention the time I saw his car parked in the Denny’s parking lot up the street from my house while riding bikes with my friend. I told her to stop so we could go in and say hi thinking maybe he’d buy us a cheeseburger or possibly some ice cream. However, when we walked through Denny’s he was no where to be found. I was confused and walked out to take a closer look into his car. It was then that I found him in the backseat smoking a cigarette with a woman adjusting the belt on her dress. I yelled out “Dad, I’m telling Mom”. I always told Mom whenever I found stuff he was doing in the hopes that she would stand up and leave. If she couldn’t do it for herself maybe she could do it for her children was my thinking. But boy was I wrong. We often hear about children of divorce but ours was a household that would have benefited greatly from a divorce. The anger, the resentment, the fear, the uncertainty was tough. But now I realize that she wasn’t/isn’t capable of walking away. Their relationship works for them even if it tore their kids apart.

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About amysmidlifemess

Trying to think of something funny or deep to describe myself. I got nothing.. My nest is now empty leaving lots of stones unturned. I'm searching, I'm seeking. I'm sad and I'm weeping.
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