It’s been a while…

Not sure what I thought I would get from this blog but looking back over it, there are things that I am embarrassed to have shared. I feel like my little mid-life meltdown was /is a moment of insanity. Everyday I have some new idea about what it is I want to do with this life. On Tuesday, I have an interview with Princess cruise line to be a tour guide in Alaska from May until September. The interview is about 3 hours away and I am not sure if I will even go because the thought of leaving Handy Manny alone for 5 months is hard. Secretly, I would rather work on a cruise ship if I am going to be away so long. Since we are in a port city maybe I would be able to see him once a week or so? But who knows, I may get an interview for that position and run for the hills. What the hell is going on with me? Why am I so restless? Everyday I have a new idea of some new adventure I want to run off to. Maybe I am just trying to escape problems that I am facing here? Maybe I am trying to live a little and make up for all of those years that I did what I was supposed to do even if it went against my very nature.

There ‘s also the issue of feeling like a spoiled /lazy brat who refuses to work in a job that she loathes. Don’t most people work in jobs that they hate? Why do I feel that mine is any worse than anyone else? I have placed a burden on my husband and that is not fair. It’s time to get my crap together and make a move one way or the other.


About amysmidlifemess

Trying to think of something funny or deep to describe myself. I got nothing.. My nest is now empty leaving lots of stones unturned. I'm searching, I'm seeking. I'm sad and I'm weeping.
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